Way back when I saw A Colt is My Passport I thought Shishido Jo looked prety weird. What I probably didn't pick up on was that I actually had seen him before in a piece of odd sci fi dreck called Fugitive Alien, which was mocked by MST3K. I bought that set, oooh lets see....over 4 years ago (!?) in mid July. Wow. That's amazing.
I just realized that I've almost hit the 2 years mark with this blog. Wow, it's insane how fast time goes by. Like that MST3K boxset, it does not feel like that long. My first MST3K boxset, boxset number 4, I bought when it was brand new in November 2003! When I hadn't even graduated high school! I've owned MST3K boxsets for 13 years! Holy god, something is somehow very wrong with that. Moreover, they've been steadily releasing MST3K boxsets for 14 years (since the first one in November 2002) and the whole show has still not been released. I wonder if it deserves some award for the longest it's taken to release a show on DVD?
Back to Fugitive Alien, this one, when skewered by MST, is hard to watch. The plot is completely indiscernible, and they sing that "Forklift song" a tons of times, which really takes you out of the movie. I'm gonna go on record and say it's one of my least favorite Joel era MST3K episodes, simply cause I've seen the film probably...6-7 times, and I still have no idea what is actually going on in the episode. It's a bit too much going on for me to get a grasp on the MST version.
So, it was also included on the Sci Fi boxset, and now I got to see it free of commentary from Joel and the bots, and wow, that was something else. First of all, it's a movie much like Planet Outlaws and Silver Needle in the Sky where it's a collection of TV show episodes that were edited together, called a movie, and released with little to no regard for the fact that it doesn't flow and makes no fucking sense.
When I watched this movie without MST commentary, yes it made more sense. I was down for a good watching and critique, and I even liked it. Some things threw me for a loop, but I remained optimistic as the move went on, and I slowly lost my patience and forgot what was happening. That's when I realized, holy shit, I'm only 16 minutes into this thing. Yes, this movie feels like about the longest piece of shit in the entire world. It's long, long, long.
No plot, no explanation, just half a star