Wednesday, August 19, 2015

Daddy-O - 1958

Uggggh.  Oh god.  Why did I even watch this movie?  I'm asking you, the non-existent blog viewer, to answer me that question.  Being several beers deep did not help this at all, I would've needed to be several bongs hits deep to enjoy this shit.

Dick Contino (apparently a minor celebrity) stars as some idiot dude wearing the most ridiculous polo shirts ever and hiking his pants up high as they go, and apparently he's a beatnik and a singer too.  He sings really repetitive awful songs to middle aged looking teenagers, all whilst some plot goes on about drugs, hot rod cars, and a crime boss played by Bruno VeSota (from Attack of the Giant Leeches fame).  Yes, MST3K did riff on this movie, and holy fucking shit did it deserve that.

Some chick cuts him off on the freeway, intersects herself into his posse, beats him in a drag race by cheating, insulting him, and yet all he does is fall for her and let her do that shit to him, and he is the most bitchy little faggot imaginable about it.  God, this movie hurts.  This is my first "drama" film I think for this website.  I also bought one of these Steel Reserve flavored beers, I bought margarita flavor, and fuck it was awful.  Hence the randomness of my review right now.

Why was the girl such a unrepentant cunt?  The movie never answers that and it got on my nerve.  She is a total bitch the whole time, never gets what's coming to her, and the pussy-whipped main character acts like his namesake, he's a total dick who just deals with it and falls for her anyways.  Bruno VeSota rocks as the villain but never does anything really that cool, and the movie just kind of peters out and makes you sit there, bashing your face with rocks until it ends.

I don't know who would've watched this, or why, in 1958.  Soon the only way people will see these movies is out of some morbid curiosity, or perhaps on a drunk dare.  I don't think it deserves any better than that either.  I give in half a star.  Okay, no.  I don't.  I give it no stars.  FUCK!  It's just pointless, boring, has loose ends, it makes no sense, and it doesn't even have a message!  So what's the point of it?!  Bad things happen some time?!  Life sucks?  Yeah great movie, bro-han.

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