Tuesday, July 7, 2015

Stuff Stephanie in the Incinerator - 1990

Well, here's what I wish would be a first and last time I ever watch a movie like this:  a movie where, literally, no one involved has done anything else.  Actors, director, etc.  This movie was the first and last for everyone involved.  That's a bad sign right there.  But, I decided to watch it, convinced somehow that the great name of the movie would somehow make up for it.  It didn't.

Stuff Stephanie in the Incinerator (SSITI) is the story of some rich people who, to get their kicks or whatever, decide to play these long drawn out games of death, intrigue, mystery, and stuff.  The movie begins in the midst of one of these, and it's like a classic wife is the betrayer type game, and then it ends with someone being tortured and all this stuff, and then "Roberta" takes off her wig to reveal it's a man.  Cut to the characters the next day discussing how great the game went.

SSITI then goes through the normal story, character A is leading the games, characters B and C think the games are going too far, they start to have an affair, and they wanna stop character A.  A won't give up, the game turns deadly, and things go all wacky.  B and C suffer some set backs and apparent double crossing, and then spoiler warning (but you won't see this movie anyways) it was all an elaborate game, another elaborate game, and the movie ends with no surprises whatsoever.

Like I said, no one went on to anything else, and that's the most predictable thing about this movie.  The actors are all definitely not good, they are trying really hard which makes it a little worse for me, and it's just painful to watch.  The pacing in the movie also sucks.  It feels overly long, extremely low budget, and it feels impossible to take it seriously.

The worst part about it?  Not only does no one ever get stuffed into an incinerator, no one ever even tries to stuff someone, talks about stuffing someone, or looks at an incinerator.  There's no fucking incinerator in the movie AT ALL.  How the fuck does that make sense?!

Maybe, maybe with a few beers and some good comedians you could rip this to a whole new level and make it fun but....it's probably not worth it.  Your efforts would be better spent on a more enjoyable movie.  I give this one zero stars.

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