Sunday, April 12, 2015

Badlanders - 1992

Also known as Prison Planet....

God this movie is ridiculous.  In a mostly good way, I will say, but still.  This is like Mad Max meets....well, it's basically just a Mad Max ripoff really, but with a plot obviously stolen from countless other B grade crap where it's just an excuse to have people conflict.  And conflict they do, with characters so overdone and plot so whisper thin they might as well just name people "Character A" and "B" etc.

When reluctant good guy Blaine (Character A) is sent to prison planet, it looks like he's shit outta luck.  Although it's referred to as "Prison Planet" and that's even the name of the movie, there is no actual prison on the planet, so that's sort of unclear.  In fact, it just looks like Arizona, which is in fact where they filmed this.  There are of course random gangs of good and bad guys on prison planet which our hero semi-interacts with,

It all leads to mr. hero's true conquest, he is looking for the true ruler of Earth, who is a man named Himshaw.  Oh and did I mention the name of the planet where our hero comes from?  Anakin.  Great reference there, guys. Sorry, this movie is nowhere as good as, and nothing like Star Wars.

While searching for Himshaw, Blaine runs into the evil group that runs prison planet, led by this mustached weirdo Broxton.  Broxton looks fucking ridiculous with his stupid mustache.  There is also insanely annoying character Heinsy (I think that's his name).

That's when I discovered that this movie has all the necessities for a fantastic drinking game.
1)  A drink every time the annoying guy is annoying as fuck
2) A drink every time the mustache guy looks like an idiot
3) A drink every time you can see far off power lines or roads that are obviously not supposed to be seen
4) A drink every time the main character Blaine looks like a total loser
You'll be shwasted in no time!

So this movie is a great drinking game, and I drank a little watching it.  It's got that easy to follow type of plot which is great for drinking to, and it's not taking itself too seriously but also not self aware enough to be unfunny.  The characters are fucking retarded and the script is only worthy of being toilet paper.

But, high watchability rating and stupidity make it a great bad movie night movie, a great one to watch at all your bad movie parties, and a good one to put on if you're in a bad mood and want to watch stupid people being hurt.
I give it a solid 2.5 stars.

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