Monday, January 19, 2015

Dark Night of the Scarecrow - 1981

In this captivating soon to be cult classic look at society horror and America....no, just kidding.

In this very average and mostly predictable horror movie from 1981, the town murders an innocent mentally disabled dude (the death of an innocent, cue dramatic revenge).
So, then, naturally, Something starts to kill all the people in the town. Oh, did I not say the mentally disabled guy was dressed up a scarecrow when he died?  He was playing hide and go seek.
This movie is chalk-full of overweight police officers, drinking, smoking, and old people.  You know, you don't see movies where the "stars" be they hero or victim are overweight, middle aged, fully loser-status people.  Hollywood has been overtaken by these 6-pack having, attractive dudes.  You could not have an action star now like Charles Bronson or even Sean Connery.  Now they have to look like Daniel Craig.  Even Arnold Schwarzenegger is only getting by because of his history of being an action star.
Anyway, back to DNOTS.
Beh, whatever.  It isn't a classic, it's not a great movie, and you can skip it if you want.  I just love them killer scarecrow movies.  Why?  Cause I'm pretty lame.

The effects are non-existent, the acting is okay enough, the pacing is okay, just enough to keep you from falling asleep (that is unless you're kind of tired and comfy).
The scarecrow costume thing is pretty neat, I will say, it's cheap and flimsy and probably made for next to no cost (much like most the movie, I would imagine) but sometimes you don't need much, just blackness and mystery, to sell your horror movie.
It was a made for tv movie, or at least with the idea in it's makers minds that it could be shown on tv, no blood or gore, or nudity or "bad words" in it.  It's very tame.


The Spoilers.


So the mean, overweight police officer that we have followed for most of the movie turns out to be the guys who survives the longest.  He makes the startling discovery that the body of the mental dude is still in the ground!  WHA?!  So then it must be...the girl who was friends with him!  WHA, BU....HOW WHY WHAT?  WHAT A FUCKING TWIST!  OH MY GODDAMN CHRIST!
Oh wait, he tackles her and a ghost starts a tractor and kills him, I guess it was the ghost of the retard all along.


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